* This came to me around 2 am draining water from a bathtub as I told the Lord My God how I needed the waters troubled for healing in a heart that was hurting and these words came from within. I wrote as quickly as this precious message came as though I was at Bethesda long ago. I knew that it was once a place, but it is now an expression of the character of our God ... He never leaves us comfortless.

Prologue (from Pastor Rod Parsley):

Why do we tell a story over and over again? Stories are of such importance and are our telescopic view from generation to generation. As kids, we really underestimate these stories until we grow up and realize the sacrifice each generation before us has made. What stories we pass down may be so different, yet have some basic foundations, and one general conclusion can be made: There was often some sort of sacrifice involved.

There is no greater story or greater sacrifice than the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. As Joni and I were discussing this subject, she asked, “How could I ever re-write the version of what this means to me, especially the emphasis on those three words?“ I simply answered, “Don’t try a re-write. Just do a re-run.“

There are some stories that need to stay the way they are. So, Joni asked if I’d write a little intro which I’m happy to do given that what she has written about is a true story and a true Savior ... the greatest story ever told.

Okay, I know we are not to believe in Magic. What do you call it when you can make something appear or disappear? Is there magician school? Are there books, websites, places where rabbits are trained to come out of hats? I don’t know anything about it, but have been very amazed and impressed by professional illusionists. However, I’ve been fooled and been depressed by disillusionment just the same.

Well, magicians study and are trained to trick the naked human eye... but what if we COULD have actual magic powers?

This past week marked the first anniversary of my beloved Father’s passing. After the pain I’ve endured for a full year, I can finally, happily call it his graduation celebration as he received the eternal reward that he so richly deserved. All that his life on earth lacked was gained the moment he entered paradise and saw his blessed Redeemer. My dad is in heaven. My heart is full at the very thought that he is there and I plan on living in the shadows of righteousness cast by him and of course, my Savior. I want to see them both!

The words you’ll read below were written in the first month after he chose to go home. They are unapologetically honest because grief is real and this was an experience I’d not faced before. Maybe others can go through this with much greater resolve but I felt it all to the core. I wrote with extreme detail only because I was answering the questions that I would ask myself when others dealt with personal loss. The who, what, when, why, and how had always pervaded my thoughts but there is no script or manual giving us the exact way to deal with loss. Because each of our hearts are different, so are our reactions. This is my raw and personal story and it’s the unedited version. I struggled with posting out of fear of being so transparent but if this is relatable and can help any person, then it’s my sacrificial duty and honor. It may be about me but it’s not for me.