The funny thing about feelings is that they belong to us. They are personal and unique to our experiences. There are times when there is no possible way to articulate how we feel. Often feelings can’t form sentences that make sense. I find myself unable to explain an experience that seems surreal so I just stare in silence. I try to process my feelings, I try to make sense of it all and talk myself out of sadness, but should I? There is a time for tears, whether they roll down my cheeks or stay in the inner recesses of my heart. Some things are just simply sad. Some things are very simply hard. Why do we struggle to leave that place and the lessons that we can learn? Why do we want to leave the arms of God when He is ministering to us in all of His tender mercy? We want to rush back to vapid feelings of happiness because happy feels better – plain and simple. Sad feels sad and bad and often, scary. We fear that the sadness won’t end and keep us captive in a perpetual rainstorm of emotions. I call times like these “the puddle”, meaning I don’t mind steppin’ in it; I just don’t want to get stuck!
In sadness, we can still trust our Father. He is our safety net when we walk the tightrope of uncertainty. He doesn’t promise happiness but He does tell us that we can be content. I recall a particular time when our ministry was under attack, and we were, as well. We were being persecuted in the worst way, and I was completely distraught. Our kids were just toddlers then, and I remember watching them playing and laughing totally oblivious to what we were dealing with. I kept watching and enjoying their innocence when it occurred to me that they didn’t have a care in the world – why should they? Anytime they needed a thing, we came running. If they cried in the middle of the night, we were there to comfort them. If they fell down, we rushed to them “to make it all better.” If they were tired, they climbed up on our laps and were gently rocked to sleep in our loving arms. They knew that their daddy and mommy would be there and take care of everything, so why worry? Their job was to have fun and enjoy life as little children should. It was such a lesson to me that day, and I’ve never forgotten it.
We weren’t built to bear our own burdens, we were only told to bear the burdens of one another. The Bible tells us what we should do in l Peter 5:7 – “Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” In like manner, Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your burdens on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you; He will never allow the [consistently] righteous to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail).” (Amplified Translation)
Maybe I can’t sort these feelings and maybe I don’t have to. My father has His arms open ready to take it all and then knowing Him as I do, “will make it all better.”
