Some days, I feel like Charlie Brown. You know the story well. I run up with excitement, anticipation, and confidence to “kick the football” and guess what? Lucy is there! She is holding the football and I think, not this time she won’t do it. This time will be different, I just know it! I’m running, running, and as I kick, she does it! She moves the football, and I am on the ground…disappointed. ARRGGH!
What is it about disappointment that differs from feelings of sadness? They are two totally different feelings. Disappointment has this nagging effect while sadness feels like a mud puddle. Oddly, however, we can be both sad and disappointed. For example, my youngest nephew, Daniel, is sixteen and plays football for a school that is a football powerhouse. They were in the state semi-finals last night, ranked #1 in Ohio. Obviously, his team was expected to win but lost by four points. Sports commentators call this an upset, a prediction gone wrong.
My nephew is so sad and disappointed. He and his teammates had that state championship in their sites, and along came Lucy! Now I have to tell you that I can’t stand that Daniel is sad, after all he is the baby to us! Beyond that, I was telling my sister, Julie, that he has the sweetest spirit and is such a kind and good-hearted boy. He was mainly sad for the seniors on his team, and that’s just like him always thinking of others. So, today, knowing how he is feeling makes me disappointed, as well, because I can’t change a thing.
I was telling Rod that disappointment leaves us feeling so helpless. He replied, “It’s because we always believe that a situation is going to go our way and when it doesn’t, and there’s nothing we can do, we do feel helpless and powerless. Sad situations usually just happen (no prediction involved), and we know the feelings will lessen over time.”
Well, there’s something to think about. Disappointment and sadness can go hand-in-hand but how do we move beyond them? I’ve always been able to go to God in my sadness to find comfort and shelter but in disappointment, I have to stew a bit! I re-live the situation, and the outcome, over and over in my mind. I also go through the what-if’s, what if I’d done this differently or they had done it this way? Yes, I am stewing! What is it that I need to STOP THE MADNESS?!
Well, the answer is obvious to me - I need peace of mind, to change what I keep thinking about, and to have a different perspective. I go to the scriptures when I need answers. Right away this verse comes to me, “He will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.” (easier said than done!) Then I recall Philippians 4:8 and decide to look it up in the Amplified Translation (one of my favorite Bible translations, by the way). “For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].” I LOVE THAT! It basically covers everything, doesn’t it?
If we fixed our minds on all the things listed in that scripture passage, we wouldn’t have room for anything else, especially all the negativity. Sure disappointments come, but there is a process that God has given us. We can change our minds. We can look at all that is blessed and good in our lives instead of what hasn’t worked the way we thought or wanted. Even in sad times, we can meditate and fix our minds on a loving God and all that He is.
My sister sent me a text much to this effect, she said Daniel will be okay, he has a good life, a good family, his siblings adore him, he has good friends, he’s had a championship season, etc. (not to mention, his Aunt Dodo thinks he is super-awesome!). She was taking inventory of all the favorable things in her sons’ life, and when I read this, it took the focus from this major disappointment he’d encountered. It’s as simple as counting our blessings, and there is peace in doing so.
So the next time I’m running for that football and see Lucy, I’ll still try to kick it and if I land on the ground it’ll be okay…I’ll just keep looking up!
