I was just discussing how we need to embrace every moment as the gift that God intended. I realize that every day, I’m making memories for someone - good ones or bad ones. I certainly want to make lasting memories that reflect my love and God’s love in me. I have succeeded and failed at this endeavor . . . haven’t we all? Memories can serve us as lessons in what to do or what not to do; what to be or what not to be. They can also provide a link to the past that creates traditions and customs that keep family and cultural legacies alive.
In my family, many of the most heartwarming memories of my childhood came at the hands and heart of my beloved grandma. My sisters and I are writing a tribute to her that I’d like to post on her birthday. She went to heaven thirty years ago, but her smile, her words, and her love are living in the hearts of all of us. If I could be like anyone, I’d choose her. She epitomized unconditional love and the life of Jesus walked out in human form. Her life was simple but pure. She came to America to Ellis Island as a young girl at eighteen, after a customary arranged marriage to my grandfather. She was from Belgrade, Yugoslavia and came, as she described, to a country that was free and could give them a better life. She was courageous and hopeful in the face of the adversarial circumstances that lie ahead. Nonetheless, she built a life that included loving five granddaughters that she claimed were perfect! We were the lucky ones for in our eyes, she was the perfect one.
I looked at her framed photo last night. I miss her. But I thought of how she enriched our lives and how I see her character reflected in each of us. What a blessing to know that someone loved you more than anything . . . no matter what. Her life was her family because she didn’t seek the typical trappings of success but ended up with the best life anyway - a lesson learned no doubt. It doesn’t take stuff, things, power, position, attention, or the like to be successful. Too often this costs a family instead of builds it. Love, once again, builds the house as the saying goes.
I started thinking of so many of my favorite memories, and I could write a book since there are so many, but here are a few:
Her voice - she spoke with a heavy accent with very broken English but it was musical
The smell of her fresh baked bread covering her kitchen table - we’d always peek under the cloth waiting for it to be ready!
Seeing her in her apron and bonnet when we’d walk in her house
Knowing that when we crossed the field to her house from ours, she’d drop everything she was doing to visit with us
Listening to her, grandpa, my uncle and my dad have conversations in Serbian - I thought all families did this! Sadly, I only know a few words and phrases
Walking past her lilac tree to her back porch or picking peonies from her front yard - these are my two favorite flowers to this day
Playing a game she taught my sisters and I called “penny” - I think she made it up as a way to give us money!
Listening to her scold my dad if he scolded us - “you not talk to my girls like that, Otskie!” - we loved it! We knew we got by with a lot at her house! (Funny how my dad listened to her, too!)
Watching her brush her long hair and then braid into a bun with hairpins and hair combs that we would later play with
Spending the night at her house - we got back rubs before bed and then she woke us up singing the revelry and saying, “It’s time for pannycakes!”
Looking out my window to see her and my grandpa working in the garden - complete with straw hats!
Remembering how she clipped the ads for the Billy Graham TV Crusades and taped them above her sewing machine
Watching her and my grandpa dance to music on the Lawrence Welk Show
Remembering how she helped me learn to cook - she was an amazing cook and baker
Watching her sew, knit, and crochet the most beautiful things
Playing dress up with her pocketbooks, shoes, aprons, and bonnets
Still seeing her, arms folded, smiling and laughing as she watched us play - pure joy for her and for us
Going into a storage area where she would show us items in a trunk from the “Old Country”
Sitting at her table where she let my sisters and I have coffee or should I say, sugar with a dash of coffee!
Her speech to all of our high school boyfriends, when she would meet them - Julie and Jenny, I know you can recite this! “You lucky boy, my girl is perfect, she is good, she can cook, clean, she not go to bars, she is beautiful, she smart, you lucky.” Ahh, who doesn’t need to hear that?!
How she’d tell us if Prince Charles could meet us, he’d marry us! Again, who doesn’t want to hear that?!
Her smile - she had a twinkle in her eye that was unforgettable . . .so was she
Well, I am flooded with memories and emotion and could continue for pages upon pages. I hope I somehow captured the essence of what my grandma brought to our lives. Her life was a beautiful story, and we each have pages from it; words and moments layering the beauty of God’s love as she wove a lasting legacy. It’s not only a lasting legacy but a lasting lesson. What she came to America seeking, she found - but we were the ones that got the better life in the long run.
I invite you to share some of your favorite moments or memories from grandparents or childhood - it’s lovely to remember God’s richest blessings. It’s a way of saying, in the immortal words of Bob Hope, “Thanks for the memories.”
