I have been experiencing another case of writer’s block. It’s no wonder since things have been weighing heavily on my mind of late. I had been praying for some inspiration for this week’s journal piece and had a few ideas but honestly, nothing was coming together. I thought, “Maybe I need another trip to Barnes and Noble.” I didn’t feel too funny or much in the mood to be amused. I’ve spent the last week getting over and moving beyond – and I have to admit, it’s not been easy. I have been rationalizing and trying to gain a godly perspective when my flesh wants to do differently! I was – wait for it . . . offended!
Oh, what to do when people that you expect to operate with some level of maturity do not. How do I channel that and stay saved?! I wrote in my personal journal about it and “it ain’t pretty!” I know every scripture about forgiveness, love, offense and the like; but reading it, knowing and then, doing it is quite different. I was at war with myself. This is the great Civil War when flesh struggles with spirit, when man struggles with God. Who shall win? (Drum roll please!)
Well, I’ve been here before but this time it involved someone precious to me. When someone you love gets caught in the crossfire of another’s poison darts, it’s even more challenging. When I am rushing to the aid of an innocent victim, I can only put it this way – “It’s on baby!” My Yugoslavian family jokes that we are like the Mafia, when it comes to each other, and well, it’s pretty accurate! In times like this, my blood is boiling, my heart is racing, my fists are clenched, my walk becomes a stomp and off I go but . . . who goes with me and in whose name am I going? I’ve learned that a knee-jerk reaction is never a good one. I tell myself, “Joni, take a deep breath and count to a million!” All of these Dr. Phil-like quotes are running through my head: “Nothing is ever solved in anger.” “Who are you helping by hurting another?” “Be careful, words are like boomerangs, they always have a way of coming back.” My flesh replies, “Yeah, well blah, blah, blah!” I begin to have a conversation with God trying to convince Him why it’s okay for me to be mad and then I hear, “Be angry, and sin not.” Bummer, a scripture! Then I hear another, “Love covers a multitude of sins.” Oh, give me a break God! I deserve to be mad here! Not the love thing, really!!
Okay, okay – I hear You loud and clear, and I’m not happy about it. I know the deal. When does being offended and hurt give us this sense of entitlement to do as we see fit? As we see it is not how God sees it. If we didn’t need His guidance, He wouldn’t have left us His word or His Helper, the Holy Ghost. I had my perspective – I had a right. I needed God’s perspective – give up your right to be right and, “be ye holy, even as I am holy.”
It’s in the framework of God’s perspective and His love, that we can go to our brother and heal our wounds. Love does cover that because it’s the answer. It’s the answer even when our flesh wants revenge. God basically says, “You love, that’s what’s best and leave the rest up to Me.” Hence the verse, ‘Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord and I’ll repay.”
So, I’m back to WWLD - what would love do? Even when it’s the last thing I want to hear, I know it will garner the best possible outcome. That’s Jesus, that’s love…and really, that’s what I want after all.
